There are just so many people battling so many things. This series is designed to introduce you to moms that have their own serious health issues to deal with, all while being involved, present, lovely moms.
Today, we meet fellow blogger, Nocturnal Wenchy.
My female family has a history with a genetic illness called Ankolysing Spondylitis when I was 28.
At 38, Fibromyalgia joined the party and I sincerely hope those are all the party favours we need!
I’ve always tried to be a very responsible bipolar person and for most of my life, I’ve been pretty stable. I’ve been hospitalised twice, although not in the past 20 years. I take my meds and do my best to think positively. There are times I hate the medication as it stifles creativity for me, and I dislike that. I do tend to make light of the illness as some seem fearful of it.
Anxiety I have had a much harder time with. I only take meds for anxiety as and when I feel I need it. Pretty much at least once a day. What may be silly to others can fill me with absolute dread. It is difficult to explain.
I tend to bundle the Ankolysing Spondylitis and Fibromyalgia in the same basket as the pain is linked although the one is a bone illness and the other a tissue illness. You can have days or months feeling just great and then without notice the next morning you can’t get out of bed. It is physically painful in the extreme and emotionally taxing as those around you watch you suffer and can’t do anything to help you.
How does it affect your everyday life as a mom?
I don’t bake cookies from scratch. 🙂
When my kids were older the pain management began to make a very real impact as I couldn’t necessarily drive them to school or walk unaided or needed help getting out the bath.
Simple, every day tasks like cooking became an issue. My not being well, forced my kids to grow up faster than I would have liked.
My son Kev is an amazing cook, Liam James is exceptional under emotional distress and my daughter Victoria use to rub, run a hot bath and my adopted by heart son Kyle would make tea, offer reassurance and love.
Later when I remarried, I think my being always “sick” must have been confusing for my three step children and my husband.
The oldest step son Nick is a calm young man who lived with his mom and step dad then. He has always been incredibly loving and supportive to me and so is his mom Caroline.
My youngest two step kids, Douglas and Jenna-Lee has a very hands mom, Jenny. In their home drinking Panado is a big thing and I’m on Schedule 5 pain killers! I think it was confusing for them and I don’t think they had any clue what was wrong with me.
A daughter born from my heart, Kyla joined us. In that time of my life I needed someone to take care of me and she has so much love to give.
My (then) new husband, Dion suddenly had a massive family, had recently changed to a very stressful job and every bit of help was appreciated.
How have you described / explained it to your kid(s)?
I tried to keep it as simple but truthful. As positive as I can always, but never saying it will all be okay because I can it promise what I can’t deliver.
My daughter VictoriaVictoria (then 15) was diagnosed with Ankolysing Spondylitis last year October and Kev (22) with Spina Bifida Occulta in August this year. It breaks my heart to see them in pain. My biological kids all deal with anxiety of their own on different levels.
Now that my kids are older they give excellent Google and I’m touched when they introduce me to something they think know might help.
Nick is now 25, Kyla is 22, Kev is 22, Kyle is 22, Liam James is 19, Victoria is 16, Douglas is 15 and Jenna-Lee is 12.
What are some of the stigmas attached to your illness? How accurate are these?
Bipolar scares people basically because they are ignorant of what they don’t understand. They think you have two personalities and the one is as crazy as the next. Not true.
People seems to think you need a reason to be anxious but besides that, no real stigma.
I think chronic pain eventually people just think, you seeking attention. I have many more things that is far more exciting if I was seeking attention.
What things have people said to you about your illness?
Just snap out if it.
Choose to feel better.
It’s all in your head.
Push through the pain.
It’s impossible to always be in pain.
You have nothing to be anxious about.
What are you good at that your illness can’t affect?
I do public speaking and rock it on topics others are not that familiar with.
I counsel others and give comfort because pain doesn’t scare me.
At heart I’m a writer. Writers write. I may not always be hold a pen, which is why keyboard were created.
My successful social media marketing of self only started when I stopped working in corporate full time. The Nocturnal Wenchy is now a brand. It all happened while having all these lovely mental and physical limitations!
Besides being ill and having many kiss, I got married (eloped) married for a 3rd time. There is hope! 🙂
What helps you to cope?
The less sugar and carbs I consume, the easier my body moves, the more I can accomplish daily.
Not having the pressure of working full time and reporting to a boss, while I admit a miss earning a decent salary.
My husband and kids with the assistance of my magnificent, full of humour assistant.
Reminding myself that every awesome thing I accomplished EVER was while being ill on some level. It’s an explanation and never an excuse.
What do you wish others knew about your illness?
Symptoms come without warning. I can’t make it stop. I have no control.
I can’t snap out of it on choose to feel differently.
Bipolar is a controllable illness, there is no reason for fear.
There does not have to be a reason for my to feel anxious. Somethings just are.
What do you wish they knew about YOU?
That I’m doing the best I am capable of.
I happen to have these disorders and illnesses BUT they do not define me. I’m much bigger than medical conclusions.