Stepmom vs Bio Mom and How I Win

11075179_10153112469730259_4375154985191835898_nOk, ok, I’m not really saying that being a stepmom is better than being a biological mom. But, since it’s my life, it helps to think about a few ways that make it so good. I’m a woman, and would obviously love to know the feeling of carrying a baby of my own. I’d love to know how it feels to hold her for the first time and to see that she has my nose or his eyes. So, that’s my disclaimer. Now, let’s dive into how much better off I am being a stepmum 😉

I never had to stress about falling pregnant. I see so many women letting the ‘job’ of getting pregnant take all the fun of intimacy away. Months roll by in a haze of sadly lacking disappointment-laden pregnancy sticks, while they feign happiness at their friends’ baby showers. Nope, not for me.

I could party at my pre-mum party. Ok, mine was basically a hen night, but there WERE several references to my becoming a mom. And, I could take a swig to every mention of the word! No peanut-butter-filled-diapers and baby naming games for me. No surprises when I’m feeling my hottest / sweatiest / fattest. No sirreee, just wine and seafood platters.

I didn’t have to push anything through anywhere. This is a big one, ladies. I manifested a beautiful, nice-smelling child without the left side of my body pirouetting away from the right. No tearing, no stitches, no pooping on the delivery table.

I got to sleep through. I know that those first few months / years of waking up at night to be with your little one is a special way of bonding, but sleep is quite special to me too. We bond over songs in the car and chats in the bath together. I didn’t need to be violently wrenched from the two hours of sleep that I was clutching onto.

I got to choose. I met Katie, got to know her and chose to be her mom. I made a choice based on what a spectacularly sweet little girl she is. I picked her. And she picked me. And that’s pretty darn special.


2 thoughts on “Stepmom vs Bio Mom and How I Win

  1. Its obvious from the photo that the two of you are a great combo. You did it the right way, choosing each other. My ex never considered our son in the equation at all. It was a Cinderella story for him, not the part with the fairy godmother (oh if only), but only the part with the evil step mother and step sister. Thankfully, he had my place as a respite. But of course it was shared custody. My son is 24 now and can avoid her as he wishes. But his dad is still married to the witch after 15 years. And that will never make sense to me. I am in a relationship with a man now for 14 years. When my son was about 15 he said to me, I wish he had been my real dad. I took that as approval of the highest order.


  2. From one step mom to another…. Yes, it is a different kind of love. But by no means inferior to the love that you would have for your very own. As I said, it’s different… But it’s just so special.. . Words just can’t describe. Loving your words. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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